Tailor Foreman: How This Med Student Conquered Her Depression and Set Out to Help Others

This year, Sharp Index hosted its second scholarship program for medical students, residents, and non-medical students who aim to improve physician well-being. We evaluated candidates based on their plans for a better system, dedication to the cause, and financial need, among other qualities. Tailor Foreman, who’s about to start a graduate program at the American University of Antigua, is the recipient of the second Sharp Index Scholarship. What follows is her story and vision for the future.

Tailor Foreman was still in college and working as an EMT when she came face to face with someone who tried to take their own life. She recalls being waking up at 3 a.m. to flashing red lights in the EMS bunk room and an automated voice recording that announced the danger: “Suicide attempt.” It seemed as though the words had been repeated multiple times — though Foreman knew they hadn’t.

Tailor started as an EMT in January 2019, mainly to build up her clinical hours before hopefully heading to medical school. She said her first time in the ambulance, she instantly felt she was in the right place.

“It was my first time doing hands-on medicine. Usually, I was just a scribe or kind of just helping the doctor out, but that was my first time where it's just me and the patient, and I have to make an important call for them,” she says. “And that just kind of solidified my passion for EMS.”
The suicide attempt call was a turning point. During the ride to the scene, Foreman tried to recall all the things people had said to her when she was at her lowest.

“As a person who has been suicidal before, it was almost like reliving that time for me,” she says. “I had to pull myself out of my own feelings to be there for this person the way people were there for me.”

When the team arrived, she sat near the patient quietly and put her hand on their knee. She recalls feeling an almost effortless connection with the patient, despite not saying anything. After a few moments, she felt the patient’s hand reach down to grab hers and squeeze.

“She was distraught, and I was kinda just there for her silently. And I think the silent engagement spoke a lot louder than words, because there aren’t always words you can say,” Foreman says. “By the time we got to the hospital, she was a little more calm. And when we left, I ended up getting a little smile from her.”

Foreman mostly grew up in Newport, New Virginia, but her military family moved around quite a bit. She decided to pursue a career in healthcare early on. She remembers being 12 years old when she first came to that conclusion, but her mom says Foreman was picturing herself in a white coat at age 8. The career path was personal: She grew up alongside a sibling with special needs.

“Growing up, I watched my mom kind of struggle with my brother a little bit,” Foreman says. “And that kind of pushed me toward medicine, because it made me realize what kinds of things happen after you leave the doctor's office.”

While Foreman has long known she wanted to go into medicine, it wasn’t until she became a college student that she began to focus on burnout and mental health.

A talented student, Foreman was just 15 when she entered a program for the exceptionally gifted at Mary Baldwin University. The following year she went to college to study chemistry. While she’d struggled with mental health issues for most of her life, it was there that she first experienced burnout and its devastating effects.

“I was far from my family. And I was spending a lot of time studying and still not making the grades I wanted to make,” she says, noting that many medical students have a perfectionist attitude, which can prove deleterious.

“It's this cyclical thing of: You have to be the best, so you're hard on yourself, but you don't give yourself room for mistakes. It's human to make mistakes. And I think that in itself, for some people, leads to mental illness, just by constantly not feeling good enough,” she says.

After sinking into depression, Foreman realized that she needed to be closer to her family—her support system. She transferred to Old Dominion University, which was closer to home, and changed her major to Spanish literature.

“Which I loved!” she says. “It allowed me to think critically, which I don't think we do a lot in science. I think we just regurgitate what they teach us.”

While Foreman’s new field of study and proximity to her family relieved some stress, she continued to struggle with mental illness. It took 21 years, she says, before she decided to address her depression and seek medication.

With regard to the prevalence of burnout and other mental health issues within the healthcare industry, Foreman believes that everyone’s needs are different. “The art of empowerment is a precise dance that one must embrace wholeheartedly. Not everyone needs a speech, tough love, or hugs,” she wrote in a personal statement to the Sharp Index’s scholarship program.

Foreman pointed out that the inherent stresses of working in the medical field mean it’s a place where mental health can often get neglected.

“Doctors are typically held to this high standard. They can't make mistakes. They have to know the answer, the right medication, they have to know everything,” she says. “But they're human. Sometimes they have an off day or a bad day. And it's OK sometimes to just be like, ‘Look, I'm having a bad day. Give me a second. I'm going to get it together, and then we can go forward.’”

Foreman adds that not enough physicians are open about their feelings. Doctors, she says, often hold themselves to such a standard that they refuse to acknowledge that they might need help.

“Because no one's immune,” she says. “Regardless of your knowledge, you can get mental illness. And it may develop once you work in medicine. You may see something that changes your life.”

Providing doctors and other staff with an outlet to talk these things through without feeling judged, Foreman says, is one key to addressing the problem. So, how does she keep her own mental health in check? She reads a lot and actively tries to shape her perspective on life.

“My favorite one is: Things are gonna happen the way they're gonna happen. And there are certain things I can control and certain things I cannot. And if I can't, then I just can't, and I can't stress about that. So the things I can change, I work harder in those areas, and the things I can't, I just accept them as they are,” she says. “The second thing is: I'm lucky in that I know what I want to do in the future. A lot of people don't. They kind of go to college just because they have to. But I know exactly what I want to do when I grow up.”

At the American University of Antigua, Foreman will work toward degrees in medicine and public health. After she graduates, she intends to use her Spanish skills to work with people of color— no translator needed.

“That's kind of important to me, because I know how your relationship with your physician can change your outlook on a visit, and can even change what you tell them and how open and honest you are with them,” she says. “It's like, I'm with my doctor, but I have this third person that's awkwardly standing here who I barely know, and it might be a different person every time. And it can just add to the stress for the patients.”

Foreman hopes to travel as a physician, in order to help those who don’t have the same access to healthcare as Americans do. While there’s a great need in the U.S. for healthcare workers, Americans are far more fortunate than many others across the world, — and it’s important to try to help, she says.

“Even if it's not permanently living in another country, it could just be going for 30 days of the year, just to kind of give back to people who don't have access to the stuff we have here,” she says. “And it's not only enriching for them—it's enriching for you. Because you learn to appreciate things you have a lot more when you see what other people don't have.

“It sounds cheesy, but it really is the small things,” she continues. “Whether it's that your family lives close or your parents are alive. Let me just be grateful today that my mom is alive and well. So, ultimately just giving back—that's truly what I want to do. That's where I find that's where I'm happiest: helping other people.”

To join the fight for physician well-being, support the Sharp Index Scholarships today.